Turn and Face The Strain: Changes
Turn and face the strain…changes! David Bowie may have had it right all along.
I had the desire to write today, but I wasn’t exactly sure what words would come to fruition on the page. I cooked, I ran, I prayed…all things that fuel my creative forces. I still wasn’t sure. But after this picture popped up from a past post I knew.
I got cozy with some tea and some Fleetwood Mac and began pouring through my own arsenal of blogs from the years, this past year in particular. I have included several link backs in this blog so that you can grasp the full concept of change for yourself.
This time last year I stood in the mountains making decisions about my life. I refer to this as the time I was literally cracked open. It was a time and place I felt truly myself…more on that experience here. Some decisions made were deliberate and others were more subtle, stemming from somewhere deep within my soul. I actually think some of those decisions weren’t made by me at all, but instead the universe. The trip to West Virginia changed me. I had surrendered to the deepest state of meditation and had been granted a glimpse into my future, with a view of that safe spot to land I was looking for. I was awakened. I had been shaken like an extra dirty martini and my mind was full of clouds like the ones I look for in my cocktail glass. Those clouds were like little individual dreams. I was a mix of mess and magic. Parts of me had been forever tamed and other parts were given the green light to always run wild. A combination I have come to adjust to and embrace.
Reflecting back over the past 12 months, I clearly see how those changes have taken shape. Lots of emotional and spiritual changes, others more physical. After my body completely stalled out like a broken down car at the end of 2016, the full story here, I was forced to consciously commit to a total rebuild in both my fitness foundation and philosophy. An adjusted appreciation to love myself, my body, and my ability in fitness. After all if we don’t love ourselves first, how can we expect to give or receive love from others. This new approach had nothing to do with abs, half marathon times, or numbers on a scale. I simply had no use for those measurement tools any longer when it comes to measuring my worth as an athlete or even a leader in the fitness industry.
From January – March I focused on mending the cracks in my emotional spirit and my physical strength. More often than not I ran without a watch, allowing myself to fall totally back in love with running. Just like the seasons change, so did I. I tossed my tank at the first sign of summer temps embracing all aspects of the #SportsBraSquad in full confidence.
I have come out the other side standing in a similar spot. But now with a new perspective. I am more confident in my ability to lead others in their fitness journey through my platform here with stories I believe are inspiring. I am confident in the routine I created for myself that provided me the opportunity to fight my way back to the fit life I needed and wanted. New goals, measured in new ways, and with new standards that I set in place shared with the people who supported me most.
The boldness that I, GOD, and the universe has shown in 2017 is incredible. I feel him close and even-though at times it feels like he is playing a cruel joke on me, I know he is in control.